Designing for Death: A Responsibility, Not an Afterthought
I've spent the better part of 6 months writing these words:
Dear Company,
I am writing to you today to let you know that my sister has sadly and tragically passed away. As a family, we are devastated, and amidst our grief, we are trying to manage her affairs. We need to understand how we might [close her account, obtain her data, remove her name from your mailing list, or transfer this account into our name].
The response?
Get her to write us an email.
Please have her provide her account number.
We need a death certificate.
Grief doesn’t follow a checklist.
Good news? Some companies handle this with empathy and generosity. They recognize that customers don’t stop being customers when they pass away—families are left to navigate the systems designed for the living.
Bad news? Many don’t.
This isn’t a niche problem. In a world where our lives are increasingly digitized, companies must consider how their products and policies handle death. Your customers’ entire identities live online—how you acknowledge that reality matters.
How can you design with compassion?
Recognize grief in digital interactions. Train chatbots to respond appropriately to words like "death" or "deceased." Don't send automated reminders for someone who has passed.
Ease the burden. Obtaining a death certificate takes time. Requiring immediate proof adds unnecessary stress. Offer a timeline for how this might impact the family's process of transitioning the account.
Offer human support. A grieving person shouldn't have to fight an automated system to close an account.
Proactive steps you can take in your digital products:
Develop Clear Succession & Transfer Policies – Make it easy for families or designated contacts to access or close accounts, transfer ownership, or retrieve important data.
Prepare for Ethical Data Handling – Establish respectful policies for data deletion, archiving, or memorialization.
Reduce the Burden on Loved Ones – Avoid requiring unnecessary paperwork or lengthy processes that add stress during a difficult time.
Design Sensitivity in Communications – Automate and humanize notifications to prevent distressing messages (e.g., birthday or check up reminders for deceased users).
Kübler-Ross' grief stages were created to understand the dying process, but they also offer insight into what bereaved customers need. A well-designed system accounts for their journey—not just as a compliance requirement, but as a mark of respect. This journey is not linear but can provide guidance for design teams who are building in interactions for the survivors.
This isn’t just about process. It’s about thoughtful care.
How does your company respond when a customer passes away?
